Reflecting on a lifetime of meditation practices, yoga trainings, retreats, many many detoxes and fasting methods. I knew it would be a bit of a journey to get here, yet I also knew it would be a good time to do more inner work.
I am in the mountains of southern Spain, in the middle of a pandemic with restricted travel and a multitude of other restrictions.
I’m captured by a passage in Gurdjieff’s book “In Search of the Miraculous” on effort. He mentions desire also requires effort. One needs to make effort to bring something to life. Nothing comes without effort and sometimes not just some effort but big effort may be needed. That’s what it felt like getting here.
With little if any distractions, no roads and no public, just the 6 of us and silence. I breathe in the melange of fragrances, rosemary and other wild herbs, and pine, growing here in abundance her trees which dominate the landscape amongst them olive, almond and walnut sharing their delightful fruits.
A slow dissolving sensation begins to take over. A letting go. There is no need to be, do or have anything in this moment. No need for expectations, the routines are softer, slower and calmer. I can be present in the world just as I am. Time and space seem to have expanded in and around me. I delight in this sensation and I cannot help but smile. It’s beautiful here. Mother nature is so inviting, she has me spellbound.
I take it all in. This is the beginning of my journey because I know I am going to experience parts of myself I haven’t before. Each retreat, each journey has allowed me to explore deeper into the abyss of myself. And I love it because each time I discover landscapes I didn’t see before. And whilst I try to do this in my busy everyday life, taking this time has a kind of supercharge effect. Plus there are less distractions.
Yet I also want to know more about the people around me. The one who fasted for 2 years (the first time I’ve met a breatharian), the lawyer who gave up everything to come and live here, the woman who comes to recharge here every year at home lives with her husband and boyfriend, the silent retreater and the joyous Tibetan teacher.
I know this will be an adventure, an adventure into myself, to rest and recharge, to explore the mountains and to get to know more about those on the journey with me.